A Draft Radio Play
Written in 1987 in Baden, West Germany, while stationed with the 1st Air Maintenance Squadron, Canadian Armed Forces.
TITLES: (Narrator - Big voice) Novadancer, a Radio Play presented by the Baden Gaming Society and CFNS. Based on a role-playing game of "Science Fiction Adventure in the Far Future."
Opening for Episode 1, The Beginning:
(Narrator) Man has left the nest of space ship Earth. It is the year of the Third Imperium 1101, or as time is figured now 5601 AD. We begin our story many light years toward the core of our galaxy in a region of space to be known as the Spinward Marches.
Script Begins:
ANDY: "Well, Here again, Imperial Interstellar Scout Service, Regina Subsector HQ. Once more through the mill."
(BIMBO)Receptionist: "May I help you, sir or madam, as the case may be?"
ANDY: "Yes, I have an appointment with Commodore J.T. Gallager, CO of the Detached Duty Office."
(BIMBO): "Oh, yes. Eleven thirty, Scout Thral, A. Reference a scout ship. One moment please.
Sound, Beep, beep, etc,...
(BIMBO): "Commodore Gallager, Scout Thral is here, shall I send her in, Yes sir. You may enter."
Sound, door opening.
(GALLAGER): "Andorian, how nice to see you again. Please have a seat. Something to drink, some Zilan Eiswine, perhaps?"
ANDY: "No, J.T., I want my ship! The retirement policy states that selected scouts will get a scout ship within six weeks of release. I was eligible three months ago! Where. Is. My. ship!"
(GALLAGER): "Now Andy, Don't be that way."
ANDY: "Don't be that way, DON'T BE THAT WAY! For the last three months, you have been stalling, give me my ship!"
(GALLAGER): "It's not that easy, there are too many scouts, not enough ships, the paperwork is a headache! Come on, Andy, give me a break!"
ANDY: "What would you like broken, J.T.? (stern, loud) Are you or are you not going to provide me with a ship?"
(GALLAGER): "Ok, fine. I didn't want to do this, ahem, we have one in refit, its yours. But... "
ANDY: "No buts J.T., I'll take it!"
(GALLAGER): "(quickly) Right, its yours......(quietly) in six months when it comes out of refit."
ANDY: "Six months, SIX MONTHS! You mean I have to endure this dirtball, backwater, slime-covered world for six more months!"
(Narrator) So our hero, er, heroine will get her ship, and as they say, time passes...
(Narrator) In the dock section of the IISS Base, Regina/Regina, a tall, dark and tall woman strides along. With an eager, happy expression, she heads for the docking bays. Her answer to life, the universe, and everything, awaits her. Long weary months of waiting have passed, with not even a periodic door pounding to break up the borden, I mean boredom. In the entranceway of bay 42, a figure in a scout service maintenance uniform leans against the bulkhead. It straightens as our Heroine approaches,...
(MAINTENANCE TECHNICIAN): "Excuse me, Ms, are you the Scout assigned to this ship?"
ANDY: "What if I am?"
(MAINT): "Its just, well, I was one of the techs that worked on it when it was in refit."
ANDY: "So?"
(MAINT): "Its, well, I just wanted to warn the person who got it."
ANDY: "About what?"
(MAINT): "(hesitantly, picking up speed) Well, its just that in the fourth month of the refit, the night crew left the ship suddenly and refused to go back to finish their work. They said something attacked them, threw their own tools at them, and that they weren't going back on for any reason."
ANDY: (disbelieving)"Now, how did the work get finished?"
(MAINT): "(quickly) The Service offered triple pay. (pleading) But, the thing is, something is still on board. It did things all the time after that. Hiding tools, filling lunch boxes with water, locking hatches, all sorts of things. It even reversed the water feeds in the toilet once."
ANDY: "(irrate, annoyed) Are you on drugs? I've got better things to do than listen to this. Gallager would have mentioned that there was something wrong with the ship. Haven't you got better things to do? I do!"
Hatches opening and closing (CF-18 landing gear door hydraulic sounds and metal-on-metal thumps):
ANDY: "A quick once over to see what's been done to this ship. How nice, J.T. didn't mention this little bonus. A fully programmable air filtration and conditioning unit. At least I won't be gagging for clean smelling air in two weeks."
ANDY: "Cabin four, Sickbay. Let's see what's in here. An Auto-doc! Ah-h-h, what a piece of kit! The last guy was serious about good medical help, too bad he didn't get a chance to use it. Every thing else looks standard, where is this fancy Model 3 computer J.T. was harping about? Let's see how the terminal responds. Looks like its already on, ok, try the standard initiator..H-e-l-l-o, enter." Pause "What did J.T. say the last guy called this ship...? Neutron?, no-o-o, Neuron! H-e-l-l-o N-eu-r-o-n, enter."
NEURON (This is a flat, robotic voice, no inflection): "Hello, who am I addressing? Would you like to commence voice print I.D. and verbal communication mode?"
ANDY: "Y-E-S, enter."
NEURON: "Please speak in a normal conversational tone. A positive voice I.D. is difficult enough without you spelling words out."
ANDY: "I didn't know you had started already. I'm Andorian Thral, Scout, Detached Duty, UPP Bravo, Alpha, Charlie, six, Charlie, five. I'll insert my I.D. disc in the terminal for conformation. Do you have visual pick-up?"
NEURON: "I.D. check positive. Yes, Captain(sarcastically), welcome aboard. When the control chair on the bridge and the bunk in cabin One were installed, I expected a walking Douglas fir for a Captain! Glad I wasn't disappointed."
ANDY: "Enough of that, I don't know how the last captain wanted you to respond, but the insults will cease! Acknowledge!"
NEURON: "Your not a Douglas fir? Perhaps a Mutant?"
ANDY: "Lets have a listing of your programs, on screen!"
NEURON: "Is that the way civilized beings ask for something? Not very polite, are we?"
ANDY: "Please!"
NEURON: "Program listing on screen. (pause) CPU runs 12 megabytes of programs simultaneously, storage of 25 megabytes internal, exclusive of CPU RAM."
ANDY: "Impressive stats, and a good library of programs. What is this Moderator program listed here? What does it do?"
NEURON: "Say again, please."
ANDY: "What is the Moderator program for, PLEASE!?"
NEURON: "Thats Me. An artificial intelligence program that runs the ship except for piloting and nav."
ANDY: "Good, Remove it to storage."
NEURON: "Now, now, can't let you do that, the entire ship is wired into the computer, without it the only thing that will work is the outer hatch. Sorry, Mutant."
ANDY: "I can handle the nav. You may run everything, but I don't think you can fix it, I'll need an engineer. And a class four pilot would be nice."
NEURON: "What? You a scout, and can't pilot? You are a mutant!"
ANDY: "I only want the best for my ship. Jebodia Bevery is the best, even if he only takes a bath once a month."
Bar sounds, Star Wars Cantina song.
JEB: "Andy, why in the name of CoSMiC did you pick this place? The bar scotch is almost as bad as the band, and the scotch tastes like distilled sewage."
ANDY: "What can I say, I thought the Spinward March Street Theater Group was here."
JEB: "They don't do gigs in bars! No drink as usual? It definitely is cheap to go drinking with you, Andy. Anyway, why did you call?"
ANDY: "I finally have my ship, I would like you to pilot it. We split any net profit amongst the crew."
JEB: "What's this Net profit and who's the crew?"
ANDY: "Fuel, maintenance, repairs, running costs and mutually agreed upon improvements are taken off the top."
JEB: "What kind of improvements does this ship need?"
ANDY: "I want more speed. The drive units on the ship remind me of Denevean slime slugs."
JEB: "No filtration unit? Thats usually the first and cheapest thing that gets replaced, no?"
ANDY: "Done, as well as a new computer, an auto gunner, AND, get this, an auto-doc."
JEB: "Not Bad! An auto-gunner and an auto-doc. That will save money on at least two salaries! Standard two grav maneuver drives and two parsec jump engines?"
ANDY: "Thats right, the only thing in space slower than us is a tramp merchant. The last owner was a keyboard junkie. You can tell from the equipment. He must have run out of money buying techno-gizmos and couldn't purchase real legs, or he didn't care how slow he flew."
JEB: "You still haven't said anything about the crew. If you don't need a gunner or a medic, what position is left?"
ANDY: "We need an engineer."
JEB: "What for?! This is a one-hundred ton scout ship we're talking about isn't it?"
ANDY: "Look, the best nav in or out of the scout service, me. The best pilot in the sector, you. Why settle for a second rate engineer. We need to find a way to spring Eric Bracen."
JEB: "Its nice to see you still recognize my artistic abilities! This Eric Bracen, isn't he the engineer we had with us on that joint Navy/Scout mission? Back in the Fourth Frontier War against the Zho!"
ANDY: "The same. In fact, I think he just walked in the door."
ERIC: "Andy, nice to see you again! I was a little surprised to get your message about meeting me in a bar. Ah, I think I see the reason, Jeb Beverly isn't it?
JEB: "Bevery. Andy is collecting a crew for her ship, she wants me to pilot it for her."
ERIC: "Right. I remember. You’re the character that got us out of that mess in the Efate system. The way the Zhodani had it blockaded, it’s a wonder we made it! So, you want me as the engineer for what ship, Andy?"
ANDY: "100-ton Scout. TL nine junk. I want to upgrade the engines to TL fifteen plus. I wanted an engineer that could handle the gear. That's where you come in, split of net profits."
ERIC: "That upgrade to tech level fifteen costs a lot of credits, Andy. The new gear will double your maneuver and add another light year to your jump. If you don't have about thirty Megacredits, your not about to get the upgrade very soon."
JEB: "Andy! If that's what you want for better legs, there isn't going to be any net profits for years!"
ANDY: "Look, first, I need a crew, and a ship that can get out of trouble. As it stands now, we can only outrun a freetrader, and not all of them."
JEB: "OK, I'm in."
ERIC: "I can put in for leave. I still have thirty days left, and if I give notice at the same time, my release will be effective when my leave expires. I'm in too. Time I got out of the Navy, anyway. Twenty-four years is enough for anyone."
ANDY: "Excellent! Let's blow this place, check around tomorrow and see if we can obtain some legal employment for once."
(Narrator) Outside the bar, Andy and Jeb notice a small group of rough, surly individuals who had a tiny shape backed against a wall just down the street.
ANDY: "Think we ought to even the odds? Looks a little one sided."
JEB: "Why, I think your right. We don't have our weapons, Andy."
ERIC: "A good thing, firearms are illegal here!
JEB: "We will have to get our hands dirty if we go for it."
ANDY: "Stop wasting time, the swinging has already started."
Sounds of fists, grunts and swishing. Bodies hitting the ground, and yells of pain. Running feet, Andy, Eric and Jeb giving battle cries as they throw themselves into the fray. The sound of a switchblade and a scream of pain.
JEB: "You overgrown dockrat! That's it! Now I start tearing arms off. You, with the potato peeler, you're first!"
Running feet fade into the distance.
ERIC: "Jeb! Are you ok?"
JEB: "Damn! The retch had the nerve to cut me!"
Closing statements
(Narrator) We leave our intrepid adventurers at this point. Tune in next time when we will find out what happens to Jeb. Is he going to live? Who was the short kid? Where will the crew find thirty million credits? Find out the answer to some of these and many more questions when we next meet the Crew of the Novadancer!
Cast:
(Narrator)The voices are:
ANDY - Bobbie Makowski JEB - Bill Baynes ERIC - Ben Moran T'K - Donna Bannister NEURON - Apple IIGS/Amiga computers Narration by Bob O'Connell
Additional voices by anyone we could shanghai including Mike Owen!
Some sound effects provided by Canada's CF-18, your tax dollars at work for you!
Scripts by the Baden Gaming Society collectively.
Production - CFNS and the Baden Gaming Society.
